Do not allow regrets to control your life
Many people have regrets, if not all of us. It can be missed career opportunities, focusing more on work and missing quality time with family, actions not done, words unsaid, advice followed or not followed, warnings ignored, people taken for granted, romantic regrets, and many more. Sometimes we make bad choices, and oftentimes we blame ourselves for the negative outcome. That feeling of loss and guilt of not being able to undo your previous actions; that feeling of incompetence and shamefulness – these feelings are sometimes difficult to ignore and you get so focused and stuck in deeply blaming yourself. When this happens, stress, depression, and loss of self-esteem may result in social isolation. This could mean loss of more opportunities – career, family, romance – which you will also regret eventually, leading you to a future full of more regrets. While it is normal to have regrets, you should not allow it to control your life. You have to overcome its negative effects. Instead, use your regrets as a tool in re-evaluating your actions and choices to avoid committing the same mistakes again. Use your regrets as reminders of what you might miss or lose when you do or not do the same things again. Use them as lessons in decision-making to avoid negative consequences. Realize that there is nothing you can do to change what you did in the past, but you can always make up for it. Think of ways you can alleviate the painful feeling of regret. Instead of isolating yourself – reach out. If you are really sorry for what you did, express it. Acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them. And most importantly, forgive yourself and let go.
Yeah, Right! And I do have all my tomorrows full of regrets! And, my girl friend tells me, it’s never too Late! Then I have to explain The ageing male biology to her!
Yes, I was an ignorant farm boy. But, I knew when I(we) were in the ARMY at age 21. In base housing, the lady across the street, wanted to jump me! And I her! I realized, I had married the wrong woman? But we had two babies. “Not the right time?”. As the old saying goes, Hell Kid’s! It’s NEVER the right time. I think Women have more courage when it comes to leaving’cause your not Happy! NO ONE EVER TOLD ME That “I” Was Responsible for my own Happiness. Now, I know it should be “A Given”! But see I grew up so Isolated from Society Kinda Like Walton’s Mountain? But the Neighbors weren’t as close for us . But I Loved every Minute of it! But then at age 9 My Dad died.
Just outta the Blue, went to work on a Saturday. Never to return? They said he must have strained Himself. The small town had a Hospital. All they could do is keep him comfortable until he passed. Now a nine year old Boy! I didn’t quite believe this had actually happened? “cause I knew My Dad! Hell, we Used to buy cases of Dynamite for blowing the Tree Stumps out of the ground, to clear land, for Alfalfa. And, Oats Stuff like that for feed for our Livestock. Mostly Horses.
Well after attending the burial services. It had pretty much hit home. My Best Gawd Damn Buddy in the Whole World Wasn’t coming HOME. So MY WHOLE WORLD Fell to pieces right before my eyes. I had three older sisters, and a mom who took good care of us, feeding us, providing clean clothes, EVEN Made our Beds. But never Once Did I hear the words “I Love You” Escape her lips. I was Traumatized! And Socially Retarded! To the Point of being scared of people! Even to the point of not feeling comfortable around Uncles, Aunts if WE were at there house for Holiday. I had A GF I picked out as a Freshman in high school. That taught me how to show Love. And Accept Love! A Blond With Big assets! Solid Muscle! As I Was! And of course we taught each other how to make love! ;~) Yeah! But, I didn’t get to marry Carol! She Moved about 60 miles away to live with her mother. When Carol’s Dad found out we were doing nothing but making love while he was working the swing shift over at the saw mill.
There are no regrets in Life. Only Lessons are learnt.
I know that isn t a very comforting thing to hear, but I ve been in that place before. I tried to focus on the lesson of letting go of the things I can t control. Once you ve said your part, all you can do is allow space and time and accept that you can t make people believe things they aren t ready to believe.